January 23, 2006

Humanistic incognito

there was always your voice
you were always the one

Okay, I can't see anything, we start a new (full of suck) semester on Wednesday, my mouth tastes bad and I'm tired but can't sleep.

Why, then, am I happier than I can ever remember being?

Pbth, I know the answer to that.

It's because I have Tim.

January 14, 2006

Everyone has bowel movements, accept this fact and move on!

The stars seem closer tonight than they ever have before.

"Are you alright?" *breugh...*

It is 1:00.
That means that it is today, which makes tomorrow tomorrow, which makes tomorrow the fifteenth, which makes it the day I have been waiting for for two years. 760 days. 18,240 hours. 1,034,400 minutes. 62,064,000 seconds. 12,376 tears, 2 second guesses, 164 letters, 5 suspense gifts, 7 phone calls and 1...

only one


Through everything. Through all my disfunctionality, imperfection, mutual trust issues and head issues and fear and...and...everything else...
which is a WHOLE LOT of everything else...

We finally made it.

And I know I'm going to cry. I know that, I know that...and I don't care beause I don't want to do anything else. That is all, I want to cry and cry and let him hold me until I stop. I want to tell him all the things I can't stand about my friends and all the craploads of stuff they put me through in school and how I know I'm being dramatic and petty but that's ok because to him, my life is important even though it might not be to anyone else, because he loves me. I want to hear him whisper in my ear again and I want to feel his hands covering mine and this is

All I have ever wanted.

All I will ever need.

January 10, 2006

Oh will you just...you are the word and the word is DESTROY!

Monday mornings
With the dawn breaking through the leaves
skeletons playing about my feet
and all I feel is dread
I know the day is coming
And it will bring me you
That's the last thing I want

I thought when I first met you
You were alright...
But that's all
And now I know
I underestimated your
Like Shiva, you destroy
Everything that could make you beautiful
I wish I could do something
Other than spread briars
In your path
Praying you'll fall

I see you every week
I hope I won't
But I do
And it rips me because
What makes you so...


There's a peek at how I feel toward Grace. Yeah, I said her name. And I'm sorry for spreading it around that I don't like her, but I wanted her to know and since she wasn't taking the obvious hints...and that makes me horrible. Oh whoopdedoo, sorry. Piss off. You've done it too. I'm so sick of all her shit, do you hear that? I AM THROUGH WITH YOUR SHIT THAT DOESN'T MATTER AND ONLY SERVES TO BRING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN!!!! I AM THROUGH WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY AND YOUR SARCASTIC COMMENTS AND NOTHING EVER BEING GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!! I AM THROUGH WITH YOUR EGOTISM AND YOUR PETTINESS AND YOUR DRAMA!!! SO FUCK OFF!!!

God that feels good.

January 06, 2006

Well, you can EAT IT!!!